


suddenly anything seems like it's possible

by justwannabeafangirl



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Bram POV, Canon-Compliant, M/M, i freaking love garrett laughlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 22:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14388408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justwannabeafangirl/pseuds/justwannabeafangirl
Summary: “Garrett,” Bram began, a little breathless. “You’re my best friend, and I’m so sorry I’ve dragged you all over the place for me this weekend, but is it okay if we go to the carnival for a little while?”“Alright, Greenfeld, but you owe me.”“In what?”“Details of how you and Spier get together.”“Okay, sure,” Bram said, only half listening. Then he realized what Garrett had just said. “Wait, what?”-or-Bram finally realizes that Simon is Jacques.Title: "Possible" by Sam Tsui feat. Michelle Glavan





	suddenly anything seems like it's possible

**Author's Note:**

> Request: "I would love to see Bram's moment of realization of when he found out that Simon was Jacques."
> 
> Thank you to We Are Everything Yet Nothing on ffnet for requesting this fic!! This obviously ended up being more than just Bram's one moment of realization, but I hope you enjoy it : )

It took Bram way longer than it should have to realize that Simon Spier was Jacques.

He’d first started to suspect when Simon accidentally mentioned that Mr. Wise was his English teacher. No, actually, it was after their conversation about Jacques’s (Simon’s?) love for Oreos. After all, Simon brought Oreos to school to eat with his lunch every single day. Bram remembered going to school the day after he’d read the email Jacques sent about Oreos being a food group. He’d sat down at their lunch table next to Garrett, just like always, and he noticed that Simon, who’d been sitting across from him next to Leah, pulled a pack of Double Stuf Oreos out of his backpack and set it on his lunch tray, opening it and taking out an Oreo. He couldn’t help but watch him carefully pull the two halves of the cookie apart and slowly eat the cream, savoring it, before eating the two chocolate cookie halves and swallowing. And that’s when the thought popped into his head that maybe, just maybe, Simon was Jacques.

At first, Bram definitely thought that it couldn’t possibly be true and that he just really wanted Simon to be Jacques. Because wow, Simon was cute. Actually, he was more than just cute. He was absolutely adorable. If Simon did really turn out to be Jacques, Bram was sure he’d combust on the spot from happiness. But he couldn’t let himself get his hopes up. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time he’d been disappointed.

Once Jacques accidentally mentioned that Mr. Wise was his English teacher, though, there was no way it wasn’t Simon. It really did all add up, and he’d noticed recently that Simon spoke the same way that Jacques wrote in his emails. It hit him all at once during soccer practice one day, and he had had such a huge grin on his face that Garrett teased him about it the whole way home. Bram had to threaten to stop driving him places to get him to shut up about it.

The smile didn’t disappear from his face for the rest of the day. But Garrett didn’t need to know that.

After that, it took all of Bram’s self control not to just stare at Simon all throughout English class, math class, and lunch every single day. Every single time he saw Simon he felt the worlds “Simon, I’m Blue” on the tip of his tongue, but his fear kept holding him back. So he just stuck to the emails, singing off with “Love, Blue” and dreaming of the day when he’d be brave enough to reveal who he was.

And then Bram realized the truth. Simon thought _Cal Price_ , of all people, was Blue. Simon _wanted_ Cal to be Blue.

Bram had never had his heart truly broken before, but now he knew that it hurt, more than words could ever describe.

Before he even knew what he was doing, his fingers were flying across his keyboard, composing an email to Jacques, to Simon. _It looks like things are working out the way you wanted them to. So, good for you_ , he wrote, tears slipping out of the corners of his eyes and down his cheeks. Bram tried to tell himself that he was happy for Simon, tried to be the happy, supportive, kind person he always was by putting others before himself, but in that moment, he just couldn’t.

After that, he put all of his energy into his schoolwork because putting his complete focus into studying for tests and working on papers was the only thing that could keep him from a full emotional breakdown.

By the time Bram had finished his homework, though, he’d really thought about the situation and he knew he couldn’t just let Simon go. Just because Simon had thought Cal was Blue didn’t mean that he wouldn’t be happy if Bram was Blue. It just meant he hadn’t thought about the possibility, which was fair, because Bram had accidentally made it seem like he liked Leah. Bram just had to figure out how to best apologize and convey his feelings to Simon. He didn’t just want to send an email; he had to do something bigger than that if thought he would have any chance of Simon forgiving him for that email he’d sent.

Bram’s heart knew what he had to do before his mind did: he had to give Jacques his phone number. The thought of revealing himself to Simon terrified him, but as scary as it was, he knew he was ready. Nothing would ever happen between them if he didn’t risk it all, and for a love this strong, it was worth it. He opened his laptop and found Elliott Smith’s official website and merch store, choosing the perfect shirt and ordering it, not even minding the extra cost for next-day shipping. He found a piece of blue-green construction paper lying around his desk and he carefully wrote _I’m assuming Elliott understands that you would have made it to his shows if you could have_ in his best handwriting with his favorite pen. Then, he found a second piece of the same color of construction paper and wrote, _P. S. I love the way you smile like you don’t realize you’re doing it. I love your perpetual bed head. I love the way you hold eye contact a moment longer than you need to. And I love your moon-gray eyes. So if you think I’m not attracted to you, Simon, you’re crazy_.

Suffice it to say when Bram decided to put himself out there, he went all out.

Thankfully, the shirt arrived in time, and Bram was able to give Simon the shirt that Monday as he’d intended. He drove to school extra early and quickly looped the plastic bag with the shirt in it through the handle of Simon’s locker. When he walked past Simon’s locker again after first period, it was gone. Bram’s stomach lurched, knowing that Simon could now call him whenever he wanted and find out that he was Blue, but he also grinned, imagining Simon reading the note and smiling in that adorable way he does.

At lunch that day, Simon was smiling in the exact way that Bram imagined he would be.

The week went by super quickly; it was Friday already, and he hadn’t received any more emails from Simon. Simon didn’t text or call either, so Bram started to worry that he’d done something wrong. He debated emailing him again, but decided against it, figuring that it was best to give it some time, or at least, that’s what Bram told himself.

_Simon has had the shirt for almost a week_ , he thought to himself, but he pushed the negative thoughts away, avoiding considering the very real possibility that Simon just didn’t want to have any contact with him anymore. Then, Bram remembered the fact that opening night for _Oliver_ was that night, and he knew from lunch conversation that Simon had had to be at rehearsal for hours and hours every day that week, so maybe he just hadn’t had time. He decided to give Simon the benefit of the doubt.

Bram picked up his phone and called Garrett. “Hey, can you come to see _Oliver_ tonight with me?”

“Why do you suddenly have such an interest in Creekwood theater productions? It doesn’t have anything to do with Spier, does it?”

Bram’s stomach lurched. “I - What? No, of course not!” Bram knew his voice betrayed him. He wouldn’t believe himself if he’d heard himself talk right now, so there was no way Garrett would, either.

“Greenfeld, you can stop lying to me. I’ve known you for years, and I see your face light up when Spier walks into the room and when he talks to you. I know you like him.”

Bram sighed. “Okay, yes, you’re right. I’m gay and I like Simon.” It was weird to say it out loud, but at the same time, it felt right. “Can you please come see _Oliver_ with me? Yes, it’s because I want to see Simon, okay?”

Garrett chuckled. “Sure, man, I’ll go with you.”

“Thank you. I’ll pick you up.”

 

———

 

It was after Bram saw _Oliver_ for the third time that he saw the email that would change his life forever. He’d gone out for ice cream with Garrett after the show had ended, and since he rarely took his phone out when he was with friends, it had remained in his pocket since the play had begun.

They had just paid and were about to leave when Bram decided to check his phone quickly. He had only one notification, and it was one he never thought he’d see again.

He’d received an email from hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com.

Bram leaned against the wall as he read the email, his smile growing with each line. “What are you smiling about?” Garrett asked, leaning against the wall next to Bram.

“Garrett,” Bram began, a little breathless. “You’re my best friend, and I’m so sorry I’ve dragged you all over the place for me this weekend, but is it okay if we go to the carnival for a little while?”

“Alright, Greenfeld, but you owe me.”

“In what?”

“Details of how you and Spier get together.”

“Okay, sure,” Bram said, only half listening. Then he realized what Garrett had just said. “Wait, _what_?”

Garrett was already out the door and halfway to the car, but Bram knew Garrett was grinning just as much as he was. He only hoped he’d have details to share by the end of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Garrett Laughlin has become one of my favorite characters to write. He's wonderful.  
> 2\. I don't write a lot of Bram POV, but I really enjoyed writing this and I'm very proud of it, so I hope you guys enjoy it, too : )
> 
> As always, find me on [tumblr](http://justwannabeafangirl.tumblr.com) : )


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